AUG 12: Moved to our new home in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It is so beautiful. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here.
OCT 14: Wyoming is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all the colors and shades of yellow, red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful — certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.
NOV 11: Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
DEC 2: It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). Afterwards, we built a wonderful snowman. When the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Wyoming.
DEC 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.
DEC 19: More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Stinking snowplow.
DEC 22: More of that white crap fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snowplow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Jerk!
DEC 25: Merry Freaking Christmas! More friggin' snow. If I ever get my hands on that S.O.B. who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll kill the jerk. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the freaking ice and snow. DEC 27: More white crap last night. Car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. Been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snowplow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere; car's stuck in a mountain of white stuff. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the garbage again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?
DEC 28: The freaking weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that white crap this time. At this rate, it won't melt before August. The snowplow got stuck up the road and that jerk came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the junk he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his freaking head.
JAN 4: Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a stupid deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those freaking beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November. JAN 12: Can't get there from here. There was an avalanche in the Snake River Canyon. It's closed. Teton Pass is closed — again. Ice jams flooded Hoback Canyon. Highway 89/191 has blown in and closed between Moose Junction and Moran Junction. The power went out for an hour yesterday. JAN 15: The dog got out of the house. I slipped on the ice trying to retrieve it. Tweaked my back. Had to go to the doctor. Resting now, with the aid of a few pain pills. Darla is having to shovel. MAY 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from that stupid salt they put all over the road? MAY 10: Moved back to Oklahoma. I can't imagine why anyone in his or her right mind would ever live in that god-forsaken state of Wyoming.
Original Author: Unknown/Anonyous
A friend “faxed” us a variation of this diary not long after we moved here in 1986. You can find a lot of other versions by searching for southerner moves north joke. (Of course, many of them are quite fowl mouthed!) The version I found had Pennsylvania instead of Wyoming.
Other Notes: Actually, we did move to Jackson in August of 1986. Actually, I hit an elk while returning from a fishing trip. The the repair bill was over $4,300. We’ve actually had to throw away three of our snow shovels this year. We bought a heavy duty snow blower a couple of years ago, which helps a lot. The town snow plow regularly leaves 24″-30″ of heavy, crusty snow in front of our driveway. Without the snow blower, I am sure we would have trashed a lot more shovels. The photo of me above was taken a few days ago while shoveling 30″-36″ of snow off the roof. And, actually, we still live here and love it! (but after over 32 years, it’s good to get out of town once in a while)
